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asofterworld   
04:13am 20/06/2008
  i think you are beautiful and i would like to kiss you

i can think up some clever lines, if you'd prefer

but i wanted to say that, first

(none of those lines seemed to be about you or me)		  
     

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08:04pm 08/06/2008
  two weeks until i get out of here. no class, no humidity, and work 3 days a week. i won't know what to do with myself. i can't wait  
     

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2 thoughts of the day   
11:22pm 06/06/2008
  so i passed these two kids on the street today who wanted money. i was out of change, they told some sob story and my grandmother game them a few quarters. anyway, these kids said they were homeless, just got kicked out, had no money, needed a cab ride. so i didn't feel sorry for them, i'm doing just fine, why can't they be responsible? but i started to think "what makes me so much different than them?"

i've been in some pretty bad places myself, broke with no food, no gas. i've had rent due when i've had no money. the only reason i get through rough times is the fact that i have a safety net. my father, and to a lesser extent my mother, help me out when i really get into a bad place. and when i think about it, there have been so many times when i would have been as screwed as the kids i passed on the street if it weren't for my father. hell, right now i have 100 dollars to my name, and my father sent me a hundred dollar check last month. so i get to eat in the two weeks before my next paycheck because of him.

really, i can't imagine not having that kind of safety net to catch me when i fall. maybe without parents to fall back on, i'd be right out there with those other guys. it all seems to random for my taste.


i really hate, more than any kind of annoying personality, the full-of-shit-know-it-all. let me explain. there's a guy in my philosophy class who is really annoying. he's one of those people who thinks he's all that and smarter than you. the thing is, half the time he's fucking wrong. two examples come to mind. in the first, he gave a very matter of fact and entirely wrong account of why the sky is blue. in the second, he nonchalantly claimed that syphilis is caused by a virus (it's a bacteria, really). now i don't care if people are wrong, or if they don't know something. really, i don't know things all the time. but when you don't know something, shut the fuck up. honestly. i hate the know it all types anyway (shut up), who find it necessary to prove they know more than you at every chance (shut up, i know), but the ones who have to have every answer even when they know absolutely nothing really drives me up a wall.		  
     

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03:23pm 30/05/2008
  this seems to happen frequently:

day of my shift - get home, throw cassette adapter on the floor. should i put it in my backpack? of course not, i'll remember to grab it on one of the 5 days till my next shift.

5 days later - dum de dum, getting into the bus, oh shit i forgot my cassette adapter

you'd think i'd have learned by now. oh well, looks like an npr-filled day		  
     

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insomnia = livejournal posts   
02:18am 29/04/2008
  I want to take you far
from the cynics in this town
and kiss you on the mouth.
We'll cut our bodies free
from the tethers of this scene,
start a brand new colony.
Where everything will change,
we'll give ourselves new names.
Identities erased.
The sun will heat the grounds,
under our bare feet
in this brand new colony.
This Brand new colony

Everything will change...		  
     

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01:36am 29/04/2008
 
mood: nostalgic
music: silence
blarg, i have to be to work in 4 hours and i can't sleep. i hate these morning shifts. i hate it even more when i can't sleep. i just get to thinking, which never turns out well :\

spring semester stars tomorrow. i need to buy books. i've already read the first chapter of phych, so im off to a good start. here's to hoping i keep it up for the rest of the semester. i wish i had more to feel happy about. maybe its the sudden cold spell. i hope so.		  
     

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08:27pm 25/04/2008
  Now that it's the end of the school year, I'm examining my life now compared to when I started way back in September.


Positives:

academic probation lifted
gpa is over a 2.0
declared a major (physics)
only two years left to graduate
found a job (driving a bus)
bought a macbook pro (yay)
got an iPhone
bought fencing gear


Negatives:

still in debt
mediocre winter semester
gained 10 pounds (stupid access to a kitchen)
still no car
don't have a summer apartment yet


Overall I'm happy with how the year went. Not perfect by any means, but what is?


jackie, here's you damn post. christ.		  
     

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01:19am 07/03/2008
 
mood: tired
work at 6am tomorrow. work 6 days this week. work 6 days next week. i'm wiped out... and i still can't sleep.

at least midterms are done with. may the greek gods have mercy on my soul. (the language-y ones, not the zeus-y ones)		  
     

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Deja vu, one more time   
03:02am 01/03/2008
 
mood: drained
bout of insomnia = late night lj post

Spring break is almost over, and while i'm sad to see it go, i'm ready for school to come crashing back to the forefront of my life so i have something to do again.

my nice week of sleeping in and playing video games and hanging out with people and generally being a leech on society has helped me recover from my week from hell pre-spring break, where, in a 72 hour span, I drove a bus for 14 hours, studied for 20 hours, spent 5 hours taking midterms, 10 hours in class, and slept for 15 (for those of you playing along at home, the other 8 were spent eating and driving, i imagine).

and while my bank account is currently $2700 smaller than it used to be, my shiny new macbook pro is at the apple factory awaiting shipment to its new master : ). gah, hurry up apple, i need to computer to distract me from the nagging thoughts of much it cost me.

oh yay, i think i'm passing out in front of the keybaord. 'night lj.		  
     

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damn you apple!!!   
01:58am 07/02/2008
  RIP jailbroken iPhone

12/25/07 - 2/6/08

You left me when I accidentally upgraded your baseband. I'll always remember you in your jailbroken glory.

We had a good run... *tear*


I'll see you in the next life, when someone cracks the new baseband...		  
     

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morning updates   
12:51am 06/02/2008
  Hurray for winter storms. And bus routes that start at 6:30am. And not being able to sleep 5 hours before your shift. Lucky me.

bleh

on the bright side:

clean apartment = yay

finding your key in the middle of the parking lot after two days of looking = mega-yay		  
     

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These humans all suck, I'd rather be home feeling violent and lonely   
01:47am 01/01/2008
 
music: Death Cab - New Year
So this is the new year.
And i don't feel any different.
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance

So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions

So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogs bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then i could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that can hold us back.

There'd be no distance that could hold us back

So this is the new year





Happy New Year to LJ land.

We are now at the same point relative to the sun (give or take) as we were when jesus was born-ish. Congrats.		  
     

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This is the new year...   
01:46am 29/12/2007
 
mood: pensive
music: Dreaming of You - The Coral
Meh, it seems like the only time i post to this is when I'm up too late. looks like you have to have a certain mindset to write in Livejournal, and I'm only in it when I can't sleep. It's getting near the end of the year, and looking back, I'm in a much better place than I was this time last year. My grades are better, I've pulled myself off of academic probation to stay in school. over the last year, my grades were so poor that if I didn't go to class at all next semester, I'd still end up with a higher GPA for this year than for last. I'm Very happy with the way this semester is gone, and more than the grades and the job, I think I've finally learned what I need to do to be successful. I'm no longer a financial ruin, and overall I've got a much better mindset. Going into next year, I've got financial aid to cover school and almost all of my books bought and paid for. even my calendar for the semester is all laid out. you'd think I'm a different person. Maybe I am. On the whole, I've grown a lot in the last year, learned from my experiences and my horrible mistakes (which were bountiful).

Despite my best efforts, I might make it Out of this college thing in one piece. until now, I really didn't know if I would...		  
     

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09:42pm 24/12/2007
  merry christmas everyone on lj.  
     

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02:45am 09/10/2007
 
mood: drained
yay for updates for the sake of updating.

after pulling an all-nighter of cookies, rum, and madden on the wii over the weekend, my sleep is all screwed up. i thought i was ok after going to bed at 11 on sunday, but alas, i napped three hours today and now i can't sleep at 3am. here's to hoping my recent lack of insomnia isn't destroyed now.

taking a break from fencing for a week so my shin/calf/whatever the hell will finally heal so i can fence pain-free. i can't even run without limping for a minute or two afterward. i'm hoping the weeks rest will be good enough to heel up for remenyik. which will be amazing. best fencing tournament of the year in chicago, which will be very much fun. i hope my equipment comes before then.

on another note, i hate lab reports. a lot. my first one took 8 hours. i'm 2 into this one, and i have to turn it in tomorrow. oh how fun.		  
     

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why do i still feel sick to my stomach? i thought that'd be gone by now...   
10:52pm 28/08/2007
  haha, i just found out my flight leaves tonight at 12:10 instead of tomorrow at 12:10. this would be a good thing to know before the night you didn't realize you were supposed to leave. meh. looks like i'm coming back tomorrow. maybe.

i can't believe summer is over already. i love it out in cali, it's going to suck leaving it behind. i have the first job in my life i actually enjoy; i'm going to miss my office, i can't believe it. oh well. michigan should be fun this year, and i'm chomping at the bit to fence again.

here's to this year being better than the last.		  
     

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12:24pm 18/08/2007
  "Poetic Justice" isn't the right phrase, but it's the first that comes to mind.  
     

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12:23am 17/08/2007
 
mood: aggravated
fuck you, now i can't sleep.		  
     

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02:17pm 16/08/2007
  i'm not a very good person. i'm ok with this. some people get what they deserve.  
     

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i love chuck palahniuk   
08:23pm 14/08/2007
  "Why do I do anything? I'm educated enough to talk myself out of any plan. To deconstruct any fantasy. Explain away any goal. I'm so smart I can negate any dream."  
     

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